never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
