I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
