yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
