Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
