why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
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