people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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