Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
