Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
