I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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