For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
His nipple licking is glorious
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
