dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
