so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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