Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
