Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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