Plan B is the new Plan A
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
