and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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