he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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