You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
