Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
