Non-Jews are for practice
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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