I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Holy sore nipples Batman
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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