that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
