That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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