He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
did i just pee glitter
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
