I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
