She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
