I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
