my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Randomize