I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
