apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
