Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
