Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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