New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Did you just see the Batmobile???
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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