There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize