she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
