my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
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