hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I believe in your delicious
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
