Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
