That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
