maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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