You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
