its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
