I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
