We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
