omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
