I don't think brook has ever known best
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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