I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
