I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
