yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
