I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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