so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
