Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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