TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
