why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
