I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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