Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
