Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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