we're blogging at a bar
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
