you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
