so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
