My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
