I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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