The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
