I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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