I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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